Romance has become a staple in RPGs over the years and was even prevalent in Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic over two decades ago. You have your back and forths with Bastila leading to a passionate kiss, slowly helping Carth open up and admit his love for you, and even a hidden sapphic romance with Juhani. But the romances in its sequel, Star Wars Knight of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, are an echo of its predecessor’s.

Not to say the Exile doesn’t have any moments with their companions. There are sexually charged sparring matches with the Handmaiden, romantic mediation sessions with the Disciple, a connecting of hearts with Visas when her and the Exile “see” each other, and an intimate mind shielding lesson with Atton where the Exile will be kept safe from attacks on her mind “… because [she’ll] be right there with [him], playing pazaak, where they can’t reach [her],” and the companions talking among themselves about their feelings towards the Exile. Kreia also confirms it at the end of the game if there was any lingering doubt. But the Exile never gets to reciprocate it and begin something. At most they can confirm their feelings with Mira and argue with Kreia. Compared to KOTOR, and especially more modern RPGs, the “romances” are pretty disappointing.

But that’s because the Exile shouldn’t have a true romance with any of their companions.

A Wound in the Force

When the Exile has their confrontation with the Jedi Masters or Kreia at the Rebuilt Jedi Enclave, they learn something about themselves: they control their companions. In Master Vrook’s words, they are “… a cipher, forming bonds, leeching the life of others, siphoning their will and dominating them.” Kreia says something similar, that, “[The Exile] forms [force] bonds easily… [they] instinctively know how to manipulate such connections to influence others. [They] have seen it mirrored in those who travel with [them.]”

And the worst part? It’s true. We see proof of it throughout the game.

After attacking an innocent man on Telos, Atton is clearly disturbed, saying “One minute, we were just talking… and then… I just lost control. It’s like this… impulse just came over me, and I couldn’t stop myself.” When you ask Mira why she kills when she’s with you despite her reputation as a bounty hunter who doesn’t kill, even on a Light Side playthrough, she says, “… when I’m around you, suddenly it’s like I’ve always been doing it. It’s like a reflex. I don’t like it.” Even your companions who don’t voice it show proof the entire time. It’s right there in the gameplay. Your companions follow you without question, attack who you attack. You can even play as them and literally control what they do.

That’s why there isn’t romance in KOTOR II. Your companions can’t consent.

“I fear I have been influencing you all, without realizing it.”

It’s an upsetting realization. The first time I experienced the reveal, I felt so many emotions at once. Guilt, despair, disbelief. This couldn’t be the truth, the Exile was feeling the Force again, they were helping their companions heal, the companions were doing what they wanted to do, the Exile isn’t what Atton feared, they’re doing so much good, they can’t be imposing their will on others, please tell me this isn’t true…

But no matter how much the Exile and I wish it wasn’t the truth, it is.

I do believe that on a Light Side playthrough, the Exile does help their companions heal. I believe the love their companions hold for them is real. But just because someone loves you doesn’t mean you have their consent. Just because they said yes to everything in the past doesn’t mean they’ve said yes to even one thing in the future. No matter how close you are, no means no, and consent can be withdrawn at any time. While companions can refuse certain interactions if the Exile’s influence isn’t high enough, I don’t think that changes anything. Whether they have full control still remains dubious. Which means there’s a chance of a situation where they wouldn’t be able to refuse.

And if there is even that chance the Exile’s power is compelling their romantic partner to return the kiss option you pressed when they wanted to turn away, that they wanted to say no that one time the screen faded to black, consent couldn’t truly have been given. That’s why there are no kiss options, no fades to black, no relationship confirmations. Your love interests cannot consent.

If there were ever a remake of KOTOR II and they added full romances, it would show a complete lack of understanding consent. And as much as I wish the Exile could return Atton’s feelings with open arms, I would not be able to play the game.